離開香港第557日

踏入香港國際機場足足是一年半前的事，

記得當天我下午去時半放學，爸爸的車就在學校門口等候著⋯⋯ 

帶完放學隊，有家長門依依不捨的抱了我，有眼淚，有叮嚀，有很多心底說不出的說話⋯⋯ 

還記得當天恩恩、蕊其、淑萍，我們四在小息吃送別餅，是我當時最喜歡的小甜點，嘻嘻⋯⋯ 

最想不到就是最後在機場，整班好同事、朋友都前來送機，我知道當天是有校務會議，其實他們真的下班趕過來⋯⋯ 

實在太辛苦了 多謝你們在我低谷的時候陪伴了我⋯⋯ 

多謝你們⋯⋯ 

來到加拿大🇨🇦後，有更多意想不到的事發生了。 

竟然第一份工作可繼續教育工作，感謝主對我的恩典。

但最大的恩典就是賜結我一個心地善良的男朋友。 

他的品格高尚，在教會裏對老人家總是有耐性，對我總是溫柔並且充滿愛。 

男朋友是我在加拿大最大的收穫。 

他的出現是神對我的愛。 他的陪伴是提醒我神的旨意。 

他信奉東正教。

在香港，相比起新教基督徒教，這是一個較少人會信奉的。 

聖經的話語本來是很難明白，我一直覺得要全心歸天父才可以完全「明白」及「感受」神的話語。

New Chapter

Months after Turkey family trip mark a significant turning point in my life, I feel so excited about my new chapter in Canada. After saying goodbye to Renaissance Academy, I embraced a fresh working opportunity with the District School Board of Niagara (DSBN)...

The decision to move to Niagara for a supply teaching position was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking, but little did I know how instrumental the support of my caring love dudu would be in making this transition smoother. 

I remember the day he drove a considerable distance just to accompany me on a room visit in Niagara Falls and subsequently helped me relocate from Vaughan to Niagara. His willingness to navigate the highways, knowing I couldn't, was a gesture that I'll forever be grateful for. Without his help, the journey wouldn't have been as smooth and stress-free. Leaving behind Renaissance Academy also meant saying goodbye to my wonderful landlord, Lynn. She was more than just someone who provided a place to live; she became a friend, a confidante, and a source of comfort. Lynn and I used to share meals, exchange stories, and simply enjoy each other's company after a day of work. Her easygoing nature made the co-living experience incredibly pleasant, and it's hard to put into words how much I'll miss her. Lynn, you've made me feel at home, and I sincerely hope our paths cross again xoxo

As I settle into my supply teaching role with DSBN since November 8th, I'm filled with a mix of anticipation and hope for the future. The prospect of keeping this job and seeing where it leads is both exciting and a bit daunting. Change is never easy, but with the support of Dudu and the fond memories of my time with Lynn, I'm ready to embrace whatever comes my way.

Our 7-Month Mensiversary

Time seems to be slipping through my fingers, and today marks the 7-month milestone of Sinan and me being together since that fateful day in March. I still remember every detail of that afternoon vividly – the nervousness, the excitement, and the warmth that Sinan brought into my life. As the clock struck the end of my workday, I found myself hesitating to call an Uber. You see, back then, I had only been driving for two months, and the thought of navigating downtown traffic filled me with anxiety. Catherine, my dear friend, gave me the much-needed encouragement to go downtown to see Sinan and his friends. It meant a lot to me that Sinan remembered I wanted to meet his friends and that he took the initiative to invite me. 

Love, I've come to realize, is all about those little things.The night was daunting with its thick blanket of snow and freezing temperatures, but my heart remained warm. Sinan's hand rested on my shoulder as we all prepared to walk to the restaurant. I was shy and unsure of how to react. And when he saw me getting out of the Uber, he rushed over and lifted me off the ground. My heart raced, and I was torn – should I wrap my arms around him? Would he think I was too forward if I did? So, I hesitated. Inside the restaurant, our hands found each other naturally. I could feel the warmth emanating from his soul. Sinan gazed at me when he thought I wasn't looking, and again, I was caught in a dilemma. Should I make direct eye contact or pretend not to notice? My nerves always seemed to get the best of me. 

Later, in the vehicle with his friend Uugh driving me back home, we shared a kiss in the backseat. It had been a while, and I hoped he didn't notice my hesitation. The kisses were sweet and effortless, a testament to the connection we shared. As his friend dropped me off, I couldn't help but wonder when I'd see him again. All I wanted was for them to get home safely, and I silently thanked myself for taking the leap to meet Sinan. What an incredible and memorable night it was. 

Love is indeed in the little things, in the moments that make your heart race and your spirit soar. Here's to many more months and adventures with Sinan.

Adventures in Turkey: Istanbul, Cappadocia, and Antalya

I'm back with tales from our unforgettable journey through Turkey—our whirlwind adventure through Istanbul, Cappadocia, and Antalya. It all started as a sudden suggestion from me, a moment of clarity amidst the chaos of my school situation. The toxic environment had taken its toll, with late payments, bounced checks, poor management, and an irresponsible owner and principal. 😓 It was time for a change. So, one night, I called up Sinan and proposed that we embark on this adventure together. The joy that surged through me when he agreed was immeasurable. 😄 Our trip was a beautiful blend of love, care, and adventure. 

I had the pleasure of meeting Sinan's friends and family, and staying at his home. Spending time with his family was a highlight. His mom, in particular, was a gracious mum, showing me how to create delectable dishes like lentil soup, curry chicken, and that irresistible chili sauce. Sinan's constant eating and nighttime us-time were a delight. 🍲🍴🌶️ Each day came with a packed itinerary, and there were moments when I struggled to wake up in the morning due to exhaustion. 😴 But amidst all that, one morning stands out as unforgettable. 🌄 It was the day we witnessed hot air balloons painting the sky with their vibrant colors. We hopped into a cab, chasing those balloons, and captured stunning photos from a higher vantage point. It was pure magic. Sinan's dedication to waking up at 4 am just to be with me and fulfill his promise of showing me the hot air balloons left me feeling incredibly loved. It was amazing! 🎈❤️ knowing how Sinan helped his friend in our trip further illuminated his kindness and good-hearted nature. Our journey was more than just sightseeing; it was about the bonds we formed along the way. Friendships made the places we visited even more special. 

👫 One evening, we had an incredible dinner with Murret and his sister. The food was beyond delicious, and I may have embarrassed myself by eating more than my fair share. It's funny how good food has that effect! 🍽️😅 

 After our adventures in Cappadocia, we made our way to Antalya to visit Grandma. She's been a rock in Sinan's life since childhood, and I felt truly grateful for her care. Grandma, if you're reading this someday, please stay healthy. We promise to bring our grandchildren to visit you in the future. 🏡👵 This trip was more than I could have ever imagined—a journey filled with love, new friendships, delicious food, and breathtaking moments. It's a chapter of my life that I'll forever hold dear. 

No restroom breaks for two days 🥲

(Credit to ChatGPT as I couldn't write at 5 a.m.) 

 Dear _____ and Principal _____, 

I am writing to bring to your attention a pressing issue regarding our current camp staffing situation. As of now, there are no camp counselors available, and all camp teachers, including the photographer Eason, are on sick leave. This situation has resulted in a serious shortage of staff members to effectively manage the camp activities. 

As a concerned member of the school community, I believe it is crucial for us to reflect on whether the demands of the camp are overwhelming for our existing staff. It might be prudent to consider expanding the pool of available teachers who can contribute to the camp. I kindly request that the school administration considers this staffing dilemma seriously and contemplates the necessity of revising our approach to organizing such camps in the future. It could be beneficial to initiate a management review to assess the overall impact and feasibility of our current camp structure. 

Presently, we are faced with a situation where, due to the lack of manpower, we are compelled to combine two classes into one tomorrow. With ONLY two teachers and a single camp counselor available, managing three classes becomes impossible. Teachers are unable to take necessary breaks, including restroom breaks. This not only impacts their health and well-being but also impairs their ability to provide the best care and guidance to our students. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Stress

After exchanging a few WhatsApp messages with my boyfriend on Monday, something changed. Our usual phone calls suddenly came to a halt, all because of what felt like an "awkward" conversation. It's strange how the sudden cessation of our daily routines, like talking and messaging, can bring back memories of the haunting feelings I experienced with Pokman. That sense of emptiness, loneliness, and helplessness that seemed to have no resolution. Those feelings linger within me, seemingly forever. Yes, forever… 

Questions swirl in my mind. Is it always this way when a woman brings up the topic of wanting to have a baby and start a family? Should I feel shame or embarrassment for broaching this subject? And how can I view someone as a potential life partner if they don't share the same desire or plans for having children with me? Are my worries about being an older mother and the potential difficulties that might arise during childbirth or in the health of the baby being downplayed? Could it be that I'm taking things too seriously, causing unnecessary stress for both myself and my partner? Is it wrong for me to yearn for motherhood? I found myself pouring out my heart to my boyfriend about this desire, only to receive a "wow" in response. Was that a form of teasing? 

The reply left me feeling hurt and embarrassed. It's disheartening to think that my vulnerability was met with something that made me question the depth of my feelings and the sincerity of his repsonse. I can't help but wonder if my desire to become a mother is being undermined or not taken seriously. Maybe my concerns about my age and the potential challenges of parenthood are being brushed aside. Last night was rough. I cried for hours on end, feeling ignored and unheard. The weight of negative thoughts in my mind left me feeling almost in a state of "depression." Today, my appetite disappeared – a sure sign of sadness. 

A challenging day followed with three classes and two teachers, from 8 am to 4 pm, without a break or even a moment to use the restroom. To make matters worse, one of the staff members was unexpectedly on sick leave. I was left to navigate this hardship alone, with no one to confide in or ask for help. At 2am? , I found myself looking through the family album. Tears welled up as I thought about my loving family members, my precious students, and even the childhood dolls I had to leave behind in Hong Kong. 

Summer camp

It's hard to believe that it has already been a year since my first day of work at this school. I vividly remember how it all started with the summer camp teaching position that eventually led to a contract after the camp. 

Time really does fly! Reflecting on the past year, I can say that it has been an overwhelming yet incredible journey for me. This year marked my first teaching experience, and I couldn't have asked for a more fulfilling opportunity. The summer camp played a crucial role in opening doors for me, and I will always be grateful for that. As I finished my first year of work in Canada, I couldn't help but contemplate my future plans. I recently went through three interviews in June with other schools. The motivation behind this decision was twofold. 

Firstly, I felt that a slight increase in salary would be beneficial in terms of providing for my family and potentially securing a property. 

Secondly, I wanted to explore career development opportunities and try my hand at teaching in a different school setting. Although my current school is still developing, I believe it's essential to embrace new challenges and grow as an educator. One of my greatest accomplishments so far has been the positive feedback and connection I have built with my students. Knowing that most of them like me that brings me immense joy. 

Additionally, the parents, at the very least, do not have any negative sentiments towards me. In fact, some even express their desire to stay in touch and maintain a friendly relationship. Building these bridges and earning the trust of both students and parents is something I truly cherish. 

On another note, I have recently finalized the eight camp books for the upcoming summer camp. I carefully selected materials and designed activities in the hope of creating lasting memories for the students. I want this experience to be not only educational but also enjoyable and memorable for them. As I write this, I can't help but feel a sense of anticipation and excitement for what the summer camp has in store. It's amazing to think about the impact we, as teachers, can have on young minds during these special programs. 

The summer camp holds a special place in my heart, not just because it kick-started my journey here, but also because it represents growth, new opportunities, and the chance to make a difference in the lives of these students. 

Prince Edward Island

Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to come to here again!

Great people, and a new job. 

I want to pour my heart out about my recent trip to Prince Edward Island with my amazing boyfriend. 

It was an unforgettable experience, and I feel so lucky to have him in my life. 

Throughout the entire journey, he took charge of everything, from online check-ins to meticulously planning the itinerary, and even driving us around for five whole days. 

I am truly grateful for his efforts and how he took such good care of me.

I could see the love and adoration in his eyes, and it warmed my heart to know how much he cared about me.

Even during our quiet moments together, such as when we watched episodes of Seinfeld or explored funny videos on YouTube, his compliments continued to make me feel cherished and loved.

During our trip, my mind wandered to a few thoughts that have been on my mind lately...

 One of them is the sad realization that the term "trad wife" has emerged as a way to emphasize the traditional role of a wife in taking care of the family and her husband. 

I believe that being a wife should inherently involve nurturing and supporting the family unit. 

However, it's disheartening to witness the need for a term or trend to remind people of the original meaning of a "wife." 

It should be a natural and unconditional part of the commitment we make to our loved ones.

Sigh....

Another recurring question in my mind is whether it's possible to balance my teaching career while also being fully present in taking care of my future family. 

It's something I often ponder, as I am passionate about both aspects of my life. 

However, deep down, I know that maintaining excellence in both "jobs" simultaneously would be incredibly challenging. 

Some questions: How does a trad wife ensure intellectual growth and prevent feelings of isolation or boredom that may arise from dedicating much of her time to domestic duties? (My mom has showed and proved me it is a 24-7 job that will never end)... 

Depending on the circumstances, a trad wife may face challenges related to financial dependence on the husband. This can raise questions about individual autonomy and the ability to make independent financial decisions.

Sacrifices would need to be made, and it would be a constant juggling act. 

While it may seem impossible to excel at both, I remain hopeful that with open communication and support from my partner, we can find a balance that allows me to pursue my passion for teaching while nurturing our family.

I am grateful for this trip. 

Thank you Lord.