Anniversary

Today, I finally have a moment to jot down our anniversary day (Yay!!), which happened on March 3. It has been a year... Thank you Lord for giving us a year together. I always pray for a kind-hearted and loving man to love and cherish. I thank the Lord from the bottom of my heart for this arrangement in my life. It was a special day, a milestone that I had longed for...

Being with him, every day feels special, even though he sometimes complains that we don't have enough quality time together. But isn't life filled with chores, cooking, and cleaning? I want to remember his request and strive to provide a nice living environment with good food and, most importantly, some quality time together.

  

I was especially grateful for his visit to Niagara because he had just sent me back a few days ago, and there he was again. I suggested we postpone the celebration, but he insisted on coming. We went to Starbucks for coffee and chocolate, did some shopping at Hudson's Bay, and had a lovely time together. I hope he felt the same way. 

This picture was taken while we were trying out a bed mattress, and I said I hoped we could also sleep together until the day we were 80 years old. He suddenly became emotional and cried. Whenever I saw him crying, I cried too. It's a lovely photo. To be honest, if people can sleep next to each other when they are in the hospital, it's a blessing... I would rather die next to my lover than die in any accidents...

As we sat on the couch or the bed, I couldn't help but picture our future home after marriage. What a delightful activity! We went for dinner at Corso and enjoyed a special, nice red wine. Sometimes, though, my inner thoughts wander, and I worry that maybe he doesn't see me as the right fit due to our different races. Maybe he's still enjoying being single, or perhaps I've given him too much stress. I know I shouldn't doubt myself in a relationship, but his concerns about mixed babies have constantly made me question our future. I even thought about not having children to ease his fears, but the idea left me sobbing and depressed.

I am so happy he proves to me that there is actually someone like him on Earth. I often felt in the dark when I realized the world is much uglier than I thought and even the past people I met. I don't know what the future holds for us. Maybe (perhaps unfortunately he might think we should ...) after Dudu, it might possibly also take me years to find someone else, and by then, it might be too late for children. But despite our challenges, I want him to be happy. I respect whatever decision he makes, and I hope we will fight for our relationship and be a good human being on Earth. He has given me hope, and for that, I am grateful.

I trust that the Lord has given me faith and will manage my worries and fears. I pray for peace, confidence, and courage in life. It's incredible how Jesus forgave and blessed his followers, even after being betrayed (Peter betrayed him three times!!!). It's a powerful reminder of his love and grace. And yes, the belief that we can only receive the Holy Spirit through the Lord is profound and central to Christian faith.

Goodbye Niagara Soon

As I sit down to write, I am bubbling with excitement! The decision to move back to Toronto feels like the right one, and I can't wait for this new chapter to begin.

I still remember that first night in Niagara, full of anticipation and hope. I was determined to give it my all, staying for at least two weeks to see if there were enough daily assignments. And then, just when I was settling in, something amazing happened. In my second week, I received an offer from Durham. The thought of moving back to the GTA filled me with joy, but it was a secondary occasional teaching position, and I wasn't quite ready to jump into it.

Niagara has been wonderful, with its elementary occasional teaching position... I decided to pack up my things from Vaughan and give myself at least 9 months to try. I was thinking about moving back GTA for Durham's minimum occasional teaching days in the last month in the academic year, but as time passed, I found myself missing my friends and feeling tired of the long-distance relationship.

Luckily, I received an offer from Peel, and everything fell into place. It's time to move back. I've completed over 60 days of assignments in Niagara, and I know that if the assignment days are less in the GTA, I can always return to Niagara...

Thank you, God, for the time I've spent in Niagara. Thank you for the experiences and the lessons learned. I'm grateful for the memories made and the friendships formed. Thank you for guiding me and showing me the way. As I move back to Toronto, I trust in your plan for me. Thank you for your blessings and for always being by my side.

Forever Happy Together

My heart feels so full knowing that I have someone as special as my love in my life. His smile is the most important thing to me in the world, and seeing him happy makes me the happiest person alive.

  

I collected some of his favorite chocolates and prepared them as a gift. I also decided to get creative and designed some of our photos by writing messages on them.

I hope that we can stay forever happy together.

Here's to many more happy moments together...

Birthday Week

This birthday week has been a whirlwind of emotions and activities. I was so excited to have February 14th off, a rare treat that got me feeling all kinds of giddy. Birthdays have been a bit of a sore spot for me in the past, filled with stress and a sense of inadequacy. I know it's just a day, but for some reason, I always get nervous and particularly down around my birthday. It's like all these ghostly feelings come back to haunt me, and I hate that!

There were so many things on my plate: visiting Cynthia and Ronald for Lunar New Year, meeting up with Janice and Dorothy, seeing my Chinese practitioner Ms. Ding, getting a facial... it was a lot, especially since I had to drive back and forth on Friday and Saturday. Note to self: next time, take a day off in between to avoid the exhaustion from all that driving.

My love surprised me with flowers and indulged in the chocolate cake I picked out, which made me so happy. And then there was the unexpected short day trip to Niagara Falls, US. We've been spending so much time in transportation lately, it's almost comical. I really hope we can relocate soon. Thank you for the offer from Peel; I hope to secure a job soon and provide my parents with more options for their retirement. I'll keep praying for it all to work out.

Here's to hoping for smoother travels, fewer ghostly feelings, and more peaceful birthdays in the future.

 

Gong Hey Fat Choy! 🧧

Today marks another Lunar New Year away from home, and I can't help but feel a wave of nostalgia mixed with sadness. It's been two years now since I last celebrated this joyous occasion with my family, and each passing year seems to make the distance feel even greater.

Mum sent me a video of my adorable niece, Amanda, who's growing up so fast. Seeing her cheerful face brought both happiness and tears to my eyes. Oh, how I miss the laughter and the warmth of family gatherings during this festive season (T_______T) One of the things I miss the most is the delicious turnip cake and Mum's special Lunar New Year veggies.

The family reunion dinner and watching fireworks at Victoria Harbour on New Year's Day are cherished traditions that I yearn for dearly. But here I am, alone in Niagara, far from home. Yesterday, I ventured out to witness the special Lunar New Year celebrations on my own. It wasn't the same as being surrounded by loved ones, but at least I wasn't drowning in solitude at home with only my teddy bear for company. Thank goodness for small mercies.

I treated myself to a piece of birthday chocolate cake. Sometimes, a little indulgence is necessary to keep loneliness at bay.

Here's to brighter days ahead, filled with good health, happiness, and an abundance of blessings for my family. Gong Hey Fat choy! 🧧

You are my Whole World...

What a day! I was absolutely beat, rushing back home like a maniac, completely unaware that a delightful surprise awaited me right outside my doorstep. Yep, you guessed it, I was so tired I didn't even notice the colourful balloon! 

...So, turns out my amazing love decided to pull off an early birthday surprise for me! How sweet is that (cry)... I mean, just a few days ago, I casually mentioned to him that we've been together for 333 days since March 3, 2023. And what does he do? He goes and arranges this adorable surprise for me! I swear, he has got a heart of gold (cry).

It's my first time ever receiving birthday flowers! I know, crazy, right? But seriously, seeing this colorful bloom and those lovely pinky roses just made my heart swell with so much love and warmth. It's moments like these that remind me how lucky I am to have someone as thoughtful and caring as him in my life ...

Dudu's birthday

Dudu's first birthday celebration (1/23) with me went down at Keg Mansion, thanks to Matt's recommendation. The rib steak was off the charts😗! Dudu and I were practically doing a happy dance (at home) over that juicy steak and dreamy mashed potatoes. It was a feast to remember!

But then, Dudu got a bit emotional about the birthday spending. Come on, it's his day! I'm all about showing him love and giving him the good stuff. We've been eating with home-cooked meals lately, so a fancy dinner was totally in order—Cupid strikes again! ( I am cupid me.. teeeheee💘)

As we were enjoying the grub, Dudu spilled about his worries in our relationship—mixed backgrounds and communication stuff. It hit me in the feels, thinking maybe he's not sure what he's really looking for.Later on, the "separation" dropped in my mind. I'm thinking Dudu, being the thoughtful guy he is, might be holding back. I wondered if he's secretly longing for a more traditional, same-race vibe.

It's tough to see him all anxious, so I'm tossing around the idea that maybe, if I'm not the one, he doesn't need to stress. I seriously worry about Dudu....