1-Year Marriage Reflection Diary (September–August)
September
It started with the most unforgettable wedding day still sitting in my heart… and then suddenly, real life showed up with challenges.
In September, I faced appendicities and had an operation. I remember how shocked I was—how quickly I could actually enjoy Fiona’s postpartum service (ordered for me, patient like me). I still can’t believe how fast I recovered because of the care and support. It felt like grace in the middle of pain.
October
Then came tinnitus.
I began my ENT journey, step by step, appointment by appointment, learning to live with discomfort while hoping for answers. My husband showed support—something that I appreciated deeply. But I also learned that he’d been suffering with tinnitus much longer than I had, more than 10+ years. It made me feel both grateful and humbled: grateful for his support, humbled that he was carrying something quietly for so long.
November
This month became busy in the best and hardest ways.
I started my Guidance and career studies course for my extra teaching qualification in high school—so many assignments, so much pressure, and so much discipline needed.
At the same time, we began acupuncture treatment for my husband.
December
Acupuncture brought us both closer in effort—but it also brought constant conflict in reality.
We were fighting over it a lot—sometimes at home, sometimes with tension that felt heavier than the needles themselves. We also had our honeymoon Phase 1: Burlington at the Harbour Hotel for 2 nights. Then—super snowstorm. Everything felt surreal, beautiful, and chaotic at the same time.
January
The fighting continued—especially around acupuncture.
But we also celebrated my husband’s 41st birthday. Even with struggles, I saw how much love was still there, underneath everything, like something steady that wouldn’t disappear.
February
My husband received layoff notification, and suddenly everything felt more uncertain.
But instead of only fear, we chose hope—we decided to go on a trip in March.
We also celebrated my 36th birthday. I tried to remember: even when circumstances change, we can still choose joy.
🌍 March & April
Our honeymoon Phase 2 became family time—our family trip.
It felt like a healing space: a chance to build memories, laugh, and reconnect, even when life had already been full of pressure.
May
Sams wedding.
So much supply work. So much effort from me, and also so much responsibility in my mind.
And still—we continued fighting over baby planning issues.
June
Nkola’s wedding brought more emotional turning points.
The first real fight that led me to stay over at a friend’s place happened here. It was the first time I did that. I remember how scary and unfamiliar it felt—yet also how necessary it became for my heart to get space.
We also had serious fighting about baby-related things. At one point, a question popped into my head:
“Why am I fighting someone who doesn’t even exist yet?”
Then a sudden realization came: a loving relationship with my husband should be the foundation for any family we want to build. Loving each other—with patience, kindness, and peace—should be the base. I felt sorry for the way I was spending energy on fear instead of love.
July
I reminded myself not to fight over baby.
I told myself:
We should not love each other less. We should treasure each other more.
But life kept testing us. There was more tension over:
- the lost of the wedding ring
- coffee spilt on an important shirt
- smoking issues
This time it became more serious. I left home for a week and stayed in my car and my friend’s place. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that week—how quiet it felt, how heavy my thoughts were, and how much I realized I needed safety, peace, and clarity.
August
And now here we are—wedding anniversary.
I still struggle to express in words how much I thank God for my marriage.
This marriage was a dream I longed for. There was a time, especially after I entered teaching and reached my 30s, when I nearly thought it was an impossible mission. But God still wrote a different story.
My husband is truly what I longed for:
- kindness
- good Christian values
- soft, gentle love
Even through the hard months, even through the arguments and the fear, I still see how God is shaping us. I truly hope that as we step into our second year of marriage, we will be more wise—
- learn how to serve each other better
- prioritize each other more
- build a stronger, bigger family in the right way
- have a good relationship with our parents
- love our friends the way we love ourselves
And most importantly:
to love each other with patience, gentleness, and peace—like the foundation we keep returning to.
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